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T O P I C
Second Annual PlanetCrap Troll Of The Year Awards
December 7th 2004, 02:48 CET by m0nty

It's that time of the year again, where we reward those valiant souls who amused, annoyed and entertained us during the year with their attempts at goading us into giving them undeserved attention. And before you ask, yes you are ALL nominated.

You are all asked to declare a winner in any of the following categories. The 2003 inaugural winners are listed in brackets after each category (judged solely by m0nty since none of you rat bastards bothered to debate it last time). Those categories in the PlanetCrap Division must have happened on planetcrap.com, but others may have occured outside the site. Nominations may be made for specific instances, or for individuals or groups for a sustained effort over 2004.

FOREIGN DIVISION
Most Effective Vapourware Announcement (dolomite/lexx for Doom for Columbine)
Most Infuriating Forum Post By A Developer (George Broussard)
Best Troll By A Publisher Executive (Scott Miller)
Best Troll In A Blog (Greg Costikyan)

PLANETCRAP DIVISION
PlanetCrap's Worst Attempt At A Troll (Sister Love)
PlanetCrap's Least Comprehensible Troll (Ryslin)
PlanetCrap's Most Literate Troll (jafd)
PlanetCrap's Best Multiclass Troll [e.g. Dev/Troll, Journo/Troll] (Warren Marshall)
PlanetCrap's Most Rabid Fanboi (Charles)
PlanetCrap's Best User of Cliches To Deflect Trolls (Warren Marshall)
PlanetCrap's Best Cliche-spawning Troll (Bailey)
PlanetCrap's Most Predictable Troll (The_Joker)
PlanetCrap's Most Imaginative Troll (Bailey)
PlanetCrap's Best Use Of Technical Jargon In A Troll (G-Man)
PlanetCrap's Best Political Correctness Troll (Caryn)
Best Troll In A PlanetCrap Topic (m0nty)
PlanetCrap's Most Witty Troll (Bailey)
PlanetCrap's Most Convincing Conversion From Troll To Human (Your Friend)
PlanetCrap's Best New Troll (dolomite/lexx)
PlanetCrap's Trolling Lifetime Achievement Award (Chella Kline)
PlanetCrap's Best Single Troll Post (dolomite/lexx)
PlanetCrap's Best Troll (jafd)
C O M M E N T S
Home » Topic: Second Annual PlanetCrap Troll Of The Year Awards

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#77 by Caryn
2004-12-07 15:52:11
carynlaw@pacbell.net http://www.hellchick.net
I agree with Matt that he should get some kind of troll award as well. He is our resident beloved hippie, after all.

Spiritual life can be regarded as a course of gradual recovery from the addiction to the peculiar type of awareness that splits everything into subject and object. - George Feuerstein
#78 by Chunkstyle
2004-12-07 15:54:12
That makes him more of a troll target than a troll.

Game Developers: Don't forget the zombie monkeys.
#79 by m0nty
2004-12-07 15:54:17
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
wzrd gets nothing.
#80 by Caryn
2004-12-07 15:57:54
carynlaw@pacbell.net http://www.hellchick.net
#78 Chunkstyle
That makes him more of a troll target than a troll.

Well, there you go! Best Troll Target of the Year. Also I think he should get Best Descent Into Trolldom award, because this year he went from loving us all to being kinda cranky all the time. (I say that with love in my heart, Matt.)

Spiritual life can be regarded as a course of gradual recovery from the addiction to the peculiar type of awareness that splits everything into subject and object. - George Feuerstein
#81 by m0nty
2004-12-07 15:59:33
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
Oi! No extra awards, there's too many already.
#82 by Charles
2004-12-07 16:00:07
www.bluh.org
Charles, you won last year's Rabid Fanboi TOTY for your slobbering admiration of DX2 in the face of all evidence of its suckitude.


PFFFFFT.  I wasn't the only one who enjoyed it.  And there was no 'slobbering admiration'.  Considering most of its 'suckitude' as professed by most people were ridiculously superficial things, I feel I did no wrong.

Do-Re-Mi-Fa-SO-LONG-FUCKER!
#83 by Charles
2004-12-07 16:01:27
www.bluh.org
Also, re:  New UAC:  Rhetorical.

Do-Re-Mi-Fa-SO-LONG-FUCKER!
#84 by m0nty
2004-12-07 16:03:03
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
Who said you did anything wrong? A winnar is you!
#85 by Penguinx
2004-12-07 16:34:29
#73
Jibble


Favicon installed.  Crazy beard man crisis averted.


That was funny.#83

Charles


Also, re:  New UAC:  Rhetorical.


I thought so. I assumed that I was wrong since none of the others caught it and my domain is the art anyway.

Mr. Glover would like to wish you a happy holiday.
#86 by Matt Perkins
2004-12-07 16:35:58
wizardque@yahoo.com http://whatwouldmattdo.com/
Well, there you go! Best Troll Target of the Year. Also I think he should get Best Descent Into Trolldom award, because this year he went from loving us all to being kinda cranky all the time. (I say that with love in my heart, Matt.)

It's true.  I have no idea why.  I guess have less patience with the same retarded arguments.

That doesn't mean I don't still love you all, I do.  I'm cranky because I care.


*Matt also mentions something about the pot and the kettle...with love.*  :D

"She told me to tell you to quit being such an anal-retentive pussy."- Ergo
#87 by m0nty
2004-12-07 16:39:22
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
Crazy Beard Man Crisis sounds like a manga waiting to happen.
#88 by Penguinx
2004-12-07 16:43:39
CBMC could also be  a logical step forward for the popular Time Crisis series of gun games!

Mr. Glover would like to wish you a happy holiday.
#89 by Jibble
2004-12-07 16:44:15
I hereby declare Crazy Beard Man Crisis a trademark of UAC Comics.  Now it's in stone.  Can't steal it now.

Bitches.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
#90 by UncleJeet
2004-12-07 17:00:54
I'm confused.

#91 by UncleJeet
2004-12-07 17:04:27
Also, why haven't I seen anything about this until now?

It certainly would explain why parts two and three sucked so much ass in comparison to the first one, but I'm curious as to what her ties to The Terminator are, since Harlan Ellison already sucessfully sued the pants off Cameron for stealing it.

#92 by Ergo
2004-12-07 17:06:21
#90 UncleJeet
I'm confused.

That's par for the course.

Mac OSX--UNIX For Girls (tm)
DVDs
#93 by UncleJeet
2004-12-07 17:11:38
Ok, so I'm reading up a little on the whole thing now and it seems her manuscript, The Third Eye, was fourty-five pages long and somehow both The Terminator and The Matrix stole the same story?  What the hell did she write in fourty-five pages that could do that?  "It's the future.  There are machines and they don't like people.  Lots of fights.  The End."

#94 by Penguinx
2004-12-07 17:14:26
This page is a good starting point for more info.

Mr. Glover would like to wish you a happy holiday.
#95 by UncleJeet
2004-12-07 17:16:28
Is this the future of journalizm?

#96 by Penguinx
2004-12-07 17:21:35
Actual pages from her story.

Jeet, that's sad.

Mr. Glover would like to wish you a happy holiday.
#97 by UncleJeet
2004-12-07 17:23:56
Cool, thanks Penguin.  BTW, I have an update to send you later.

#98 by Penguinx
2004-12-07 17:26:19
Neato keen.

Mr. Glover would like to wish you a happy holiday.
#99 by BobJustBob
2004-12-07 17:28:41
Actual pages from her story.


Holy Christ, that's awful.

Dood.
#100 by jjohnsen
2004-12-07 17:30:36
http://www.johnsenclan.com
~1 month and several threads with no posts from jafd. This is PlanetCrap correct?

JAFD has almost always been on a 2 month on, 2 month off schedule for PC.  Personally I wish the off schedule would last longer.  Right now he's hanging out at QT3, where everyone considers him the Planetcrap Troll while ignoring the rest of us that drift over there occasionally.

Actually, the liberalism of the media - as a general thing - IS a major fallacy. What the media is, is a whore.  -LP
#101 by Penguinx
2004-12-07 17:31:23
#99
BobJustBob


Actual pages from her story.


Holy Christ, that's awful.


Yeah, but it's several million dollars worth of awful.

Mr. Glover would like to wish you a happy holiday.
#102 by jjohnsen
2004-12-07 17:32:18
http://www.johnsenclan.com
It certainly would explain why parts two and three sucked so much ass in comparison to the first one, but I'm curious as to what her ties to The Terminator are, since Harlan Ellison already sucessfully sued the pants off Cameron for stealing it.

From the article I read, former Warner Bros' employees testified that the brothers removed some footage that was even more blatent in stealing from this lady, leaving in only smaller parts.

Actually, the liberalism of the media - as a general thing - IS a major fallacy. What the media is, is a whore.  -LP
#103 by UncleJeet
2004-12-07 17:32:21
Sweet bejeebus this is, so far, just horrible.  It reads like some bizarre show that would run on that fake church channel with the lady that has the mood hair.

#104 by Penguinx
2004-12-07 17:32:41
Can someone who is a more familiar with graphics hardware add an opinion about the legitimacy of these screens as in game shots?

Mr. Glover would like to wish you a happy holiday.
#105 by Penguinx
2004-12-07 17:34:05
I'd like to read the whole thing; maybe those are the two worst pages she wrote.

Sorry, I accualy ment 'mabey.'

Mr. Glover would like to wish you a happy holiday.
#106 by Duality
2004-12-07 17:35:01
Dualipuff@yahoo.com http://stratoscape.ath.cx/
#53 Shadarr
The comic isn't very good today, so you should probably skip straight to the newspost.

The world your comic takes place in consists of women with nothing but large breasts with clearly visible nipples and areolae, regardless of the fabric of clothing.

I want to live in this world.

I vote Duality as TOTY.
-Wudi
#107 by UncleJeet
2004-12-07 17:35:30
They're artist's renderings on what might be possible.  In other words, completely fake.

#108 by Penguinx
2004-12-07 17:35:36
Agreed.

Mr. Glover would like to wish you a happy holiday.
#109 by UncleJeet
2004-12-07 17:35:55
The car one I could buy, but the football one?  HAR.

#110 by UncleJeet
2004-12-07 17:38:21
Well, this is pretty damning.  Still, the only thing the pages here have in common with The Matrix is the same sense of overly indulgent and self-important pseudo-philosophical mumbo jumbo wrapped up in an even more thinly veiled Christ myth.

#111 by eggbert
2004-12-07 17:38:55
http://www.stuffresearch.com
Well if it was a treatment of the story, 45 pages is pretty long. The actual screenplay was probably less then 150 pages, so 45 pages would definitely be sufficent to summarize and lay out plot points, and that's more then enough to show you've been ripped off. Even if it was the whole story in regular prose form that sounds about right, screenplays have lots of white space; if you took them word for word and converted the format to 'book' form (which wouldn't be too readable, but for simplicity's sake) most screenplays would be in that 40-60 page range.
#112 by Your Friend
2004-12-07 17:43:57
The sad part is, if you look at it from a slightly different perspective, she is ripping off Star Wars wholesale -- she even calls it the Galactic Rebellion, for fuck's sake.

(And Lucas is ripping off Kurosawa, etc on down the line).

On the other hand, the Wachowskis are kind of stupid for soliciting manuscripts and then making a movie that is similar to one of them.  So I don't think the suit is entirely baseless.

From the distance I can see a huge holographic Ronald McDonald walking between the grain elevators and trees.  Oh.... if I had the money I'd have them make one of those of me and I'd send myself to stalk the landscape and scare everybody.
#113 by Penguinx
2004-12-07 17:45:22
I'm sure that after the court case she'll be selling manuscripts the same way she's selling her interviews. (Unless of course her settlement has the stipulation attached that the story never be released.)

Mr. Glover would like to wish you a happy holiday.
#114 by Your Friend
2004-12-07 17:46:56
I would say this is even more damning, if she were responsible for them, but I think those are the comic book the Wachowskis originally made (supposedly while ripping off her story), not something she created?

In any case, if they really did edit out 30 minutes of the original to avoid copyright issues, it is too bad they didn't rip off other stuff in the other two movies, because they sure could have used some editing.

From the distance I can see a huge holographic Ronald McDonald walking between the grain elevators and trees.  Oh.... if I had the money I'd have them make one of those of me and I'd send myself to stalk the landscape and scare everybody.
#115 by Duality
2004-12-07 17:52:32
Dualipuff@yahoo.com http://stratoscape.ath.cx/
#81 m0nty
Oi! No extra awards, there's too many already.

The troll awards committee is corrupt and not actually interested in the troll community.

I think we should create our own, separate Troll Awards with buxom porn stars, third rate comedy acts, and hip hop celebrities.

I vote Duality as TOTY.
-Wudi
#116 by Sgt Hulka
2004-12-07 17:53:45
So.. what does UAC stand for?

In other news:

If ever there was a slippery slope to be studied, this is it.

The Dutch are now grappling with their open border policy. They have admitted thousands of radical Islamists who have not assimilated and are threatening the stability of the nation. A Dutch filmmaker (search) was murdered last month by a radical who didn't like a film he made criticizing Islam's treatment of women.

And now we have the killing of newborns. All of this in a country where the Nazis murdered Ann Frank just because she was Jewish and therefore less than human.

Does history repeat? In Holland, apparently it does.

100% Hulka Post - Now with Lemon Scent!
#117 by Your Friend
2004-12-07 17:54:01
Those screenshots (even the football one) could likely be done on next gen consoles (they could also be done on current PCs).

You won't see any games that look like that, though, because there is a huge difference between rendering one car that looks that good and 10 cars that look that good.  Or two football players compared to 22, plus the stadium, etc.  Not to mention the overhead of things like physics, AI, etc, that you don't have to worry about in screenshot-focused demos.

It is pretty common practice to see screenshots and demo movies that look that good that are technically not fake (because the hardware can renderer them as shown), but also not practical for use in real games.   All of the console makers do this, as do PC card vendors (eg. the Dusk demo still looks amazing (and its really being rendered by the hardware) but it is still not game-practical to use such detailed models).

From the distance I can see a huge holographic Ronald McDonald walking between the grain elevators and trees.  Oh.... if I had the money I'd have them make one of those of me and I'd send myself to stalk the landscape and scare everybody.
#118 by Sgt Hulka
2004-12-07 17:54:04
/urk!

source

100% Hulka Post - Now with Lemon Scent!
#119 by Greg
2004-12-07 17:55:22
DKI should get a troll lifetime achievement award, in addition to winning whatever categories he is eligible for.

こんにちは
#120 by Your Friend
2004-12-07 17:55:49
I guess we're going to have to add the Dutchies to the Axis of Evil!

From the distance I can see a huge holographic Ronald McDonald walking between the grain elevators and trees.  Oh.... if I had the money I'd have them make one of those of me and I'd send myself to stalk the landscape and scare everybody.
#121 by None-1a
2004-12-07 17:59:10
If it stands she'll just end up a named defendant in the comming lawsuits when every one else the Matrix series ripped off figures they can make a quick buck.
#122 by Matt Perkins
2004-12-07 17:59:26
wizardque@yahoo.com http://whatwouldmattdo.com/
That render is from the commercial that was TV awhile ago with TO and...  someone.  I forget.  It was a beautiful commercial, but it was no next gen game.

"She told me to tell you to quit being such an anal-retentive pussy."- Ergo
#123 by ProStyle
2004-12-07 18:01:36
http://prostyle.deviantart.com
I was going to say it looked like the most recent CG promo material, Matt beat me to it.

Fabricated like the word absurditive
#124 by Ergo
2004-12-07 18:02:53
#116 Sgt Hulka
All of this in a country where the Nazis murdered Ann Frank just because she was Jewish and therefore less than human.

Does history repeat? In Holland, apparently it does.

That's a stretch, Hulka. Holland was an occupied country at the time, remember?

Mac OSX--UNIX For Girls (tm)
DVDs
#125 by Post-It
2004-12-07 18:05:19
keithlee@speakeasy.net
#96

Wow that was really awful. Like 7th or 8th grade level prose. If that's what passes for good writing or the basis for a script in Hollywood today I am in the wrong business.

Comment Signature
#126 by mgns
2004-12-07 18:05:30
Does history repeat? In Holland, apparently it does.

As it does in Israel. People are bastards. No matter where they live, people seem hell-bent on pissing on other people. So?

Oh sweetheart
I'd go lengths and lengths and lengths of love
C O M M E N T S
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